Friday, October 21, 2011

How to prepare for a second child

The emotions that we go through when preparing to have a second child is very similar between women, and something that we don't talk about that much! Join in the conversation and leave a comment below!

Here is my story- 
My first daughter, Giovanna, was the one thing I'd always dreamed of. A little mini-me (This is sometimes good, sometimes bad ;-) and I spent much of her life working. On an airplane, on the computer, stuck in an office until bed-time hours for a toddler...It breaks my heart to have missed the first step, first daycare.

Fast forward 4 years. I'd just enrolled in school for pharmacology of all things when we got THE surprise. That surprise was Luci, and because of how I grew up with my 4 years younger sister, and the feelings of jealousy that I STILL can't shake, I worried TREMENDOUSLY for Gia. How was I going to make her feel special with a NEW baby. How could I still have the same kind of time for her? How would I help her while holding a baby? The list goes on and on; I was freaked out. So SO scared to leave her with the hurt, second best feelings that I grew up with.

3 years later... (And I am willing to BET most moms read that phrase with the Sponge Bob Square Pants accent!) Along comes Nico. You may wonder how two people can accomplish 2 accidents, but as you may guess we didn't try very hard. By this time, I felt like I had overcompensated for Giovanna's sake. I'd certainly gone too far, and hurt poor Luci, and I was determined that it would not happen again! That I would be able to be a super mom, HAVE the time for all three, BE STRONG, and all that good stuff.

Each of the three pregnancies, my concern has never been for the baby. (Other than health of course!!) but for the child that will feel replaced, and despite my HUGE fear and worry each time, I was never successful in preparing them.

What is your biggest fear when it comes to having a second child, and for experienced parents- what worked for you?


Kristen said...

My husband and I are trying for our second now. I have not really worried too much about my son feeling replaced. I know he can tell how much we are absolutely head over heels in love with him. I just keep thinking how much fun it will be for him to have someone to play with and how sweet it will be to see him as a big brother.

I do worry about how I could possible love another baby as much as I do him... I have heard from other moms that your heart does not have to be divided with another child, your heart grows to accommodate the new love you feel.

Cindy said...

Its true Kristen! I thought the same thing- that I would be depriving the second one of love because how could I possibly give some of Gia's away? But as much as your heart grew with your first, and that amazing feeling of overwhelming love you feel, will multiply!